This thing I call Life

Tuesday, November 29th

2011-11-29T22:24:00.000-08:00

Here I am again....the most random blogger ever. I am standing on a dangerous edge, falling seems more and more certain. I struggle to hold on but my hands are slipping and my grip is going to fail. In moments like this, you think about all the things that you fight to hold on for. The people you love, the people that love you. You think about the life god has given you and you think about how you have lived that life. You look at all the good over a lifetime and all the bad things you have done. You would give anything to undue the bad, but you have to accept that you cannot.

I continue to fight to hold on for those who love me and those that I love.

TA

Wednesday, May 25th

2011-05-25T14:24:00.001-07:00

God I suck at updating my blog. I keep saying I am going to try and do a better job of writing.

Anyways, I have a big summer coming up. I just agreed to play a lead role in an indy film called Roundabout American. The character is going to be a blast to play. I am starting the process of cutting weight and toning up for the role which is a first. I think this is the type of role that I need to play in order to reach a new level in my acting career.

I also agreed to play a main character on an awesome new web series called Prince of Thieves. I will play a modern day version of Little John. I cannot tell you how much fun this series is going to be to shoot. I love my fellow cast members and the director / producer is a great guy. Overall a very busy summer ahead for me.

Thanks for checking in
TA

Wednesday, March 30

2011-03-30T15:27:00.001-07:00

And I am back! Hope anyone who stops by to read this is doing well. Things are going okay in my world. Lots of highs and lows...I am just trying to maintain a happy center.

Acting-wise things are really slow. I finished a great play that ran from Jan - March called Leaving Iowa. I was an understudy but I actually got to go on so it was a blast. Today I had my first commercial audition at O'Connor Casting since last July. It felt nice to get in that office again and see the great people they have working there.

I see Val now and then, things are still really cold, so I avoid it as much as I can.

Thanks for reading my posts, I know I such at updating this thing and I promise to try and do a better job.

TA

Monday, December 20th

2010-12-20T09:33:00.000-08:00

As 2010 is winding down, I have so much to be thankful for. I am thankful that I was able to work on three movies this year, and really made giant strides in my acting career. I am thankful that I have some really good friends who have supported me thru all my ups and downs. I have had plenty of both over the last 3 years. I am thankful that I have developed a great friendship with my girl Molly. She is such a great rock of support, and funny as hell. I am thankful for my friend Terry Tackett. I am so proud that he has taken the big step and gotten engaged to an awesome woman. I am thankful that I have roommates that I like and get along with. I am thankful for the health of my family. I am thankful that Val has really moved on with her life and appears to be doing great.

Mostly I am thankful that I am still here, still chasing the dream, and still full of hope. Thank you 2010! Can't wait to see what 2011 holds for all of us.

TA

Tuesday, December 7th

2010-12-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

Hello world wide web, hope things are well for those reading this. I am getting ready to go to FL for a week to visit my family. I haven't seen them is SOOOO long, and I miss the shit out of them.

TGIF

2010-10-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

I am so glad it's Friday. This has been a long week full of ups and downs. I had a cyst removed from my stomach last week and this week I felt SO much better. It's amazing how something so small can cause so much pain.

Also this week I booked a fun part on a horror film. I love getting a call from my agent telling me that I got the job. I will be shooting this one in Green Bay and it should be a blast. I also got to audition for two different tv shows in offices that I don't get into that often, so overall this week has kicked ass.

TA

October 7th

2010-10-07T14:15:00.000-07:00

Greetings blog readers. I hope that you are well and enjoying a great fall. Things are kind of blah for me right now. On the plus side I have had some great dates lately and it has felt nice to get out and act like a human again. I have come to realize that I am better in a relationship than out of one. Now I don't need someone, in fact I tend to enjoy a good amount of alone time now and then. But I miss knowing that someone is thinking about me, I miss the feeling of having someone to cuddle with on a cold Friday night, I miss that feeling of waking up on a Sunday morning with a special someone and just being silly.

I guess I am saying that I am lonely. Does that make me weak? Maybe, but I can live with that. Now I am not going to rush out and try to force myself into a relationship. I guess for the first time in a long time, my heart is really ready to try this whole dating thing again. I am open to it, pray for it, and hope to find it.

TA

Wednesday, September 1st

2010-09-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

Hello peeps! I recently worked on the feature film "30 MINUTES OR LESS" for Ben Stiller's production company Red Hour Films.
I had a great time on the set working with Jesse Eisenberg and Aziz Ansari. They were a blast to work with and I know this film is going to be great.

I have attached a picture from the set. This image is of me, right after a bank dye bomb blew up in my face. Dye in the eye sucked, I am not going to lie.

TA

Tuesday, July 13

2010-07-13T07:56:00.000-07:00

Hello All,I hope everyone is enjoying their summer. I recently got some awesome news. I booked a role in a movie called 30 Minutes or Less, which is being produced by Ben Stiller and directed by Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland). This movie is going to be so funny and I am looking forward to acting with Jesse Eisenberg and Danny McBride.

I will keep you posted! I think it is going to rock, and the movie has a lot of good buzz already.

Peace

TA

Thursday, June 24th

2010-06-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

Hello friends, I am back in Chicago after working for a week on my first feature film. I am not going to lie, it was freaking awesome to work on a big movie set and to be treated as if I was important.

Working with Hugh Jackman was a blast. He is such a great guy and treated everyone with respect. My favorite thing he did, was to buy everyone one in the cast and crew lottery tickets on Friday. He said it's his tradition. I didn't win anything, but I will hold onto that losing ticket forever.

I also got to work and hang out with Kevin Durand. He is a great guy with a lot going on in his career. I had lunch with him in his trailer a few times and just had a great time hearing stories about working with Ridley Scott and The Rock.

I cannot wait until I get to do my next studio film (god willing) since this one was a blast.

TA

Friday, June 4th

2010-06-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

Wow, long time no blog. Well, here's the update.....I BOOKED a small role in a huge huge film and I will have a scene with Hugh Jackman. I am so excited! It's a small role, but a good step in the right direction. I also had a callback for another Studio film being directed by the guy who directed Zombieland and I just learned that it's down to me an another guy for that part.

Life is funny, two months back I felt like my acting career was over, and now it feels like it's just starting. I will hopefully get some pics of myself on the set and post them when I do.

Wish me luck!!!!!!!

Monday, April 26th

2010-04-26T15:13:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I have blogged. Life is so confusing right now. I have major drama regarding my living situation, and I am doing all kinds of acting projects.....I am wearing down. On an emotional level I am at the lowest point in my life. I put on a brave face for family and friends, but something is not right. I cannot explain what is wrong, but I am slowly losing the old me.

I know this is a strange post, but it's something that I have been thinking about lately. I am at all kinds of crossroads. DO I stay in Chicago, or move to Florida. Do I give up on my dream or on my life? Do I ever forgive myself for hurting the most important person in my life or do I allow it to drag me down for the rest of my life?

In the story of our lives, Act 3 or the final act, sometimes starts before we are ready. But ready or not, the show must go on as they say.

TA

Wednesday, March 3rd

2010-03-08T15:15:00.000-08:00

Audition- Kentucky Lottery @ Claire Simon Casting. This is my first commercial audition in a while and my first audition at Claire Simon since last August. It was basically an improv audition and I thought I did okay. I didn't go over the top, kind of underplayed it.

We will see!

p.s. Friday- March 5, my agent just called to place me on avail. That means that I am in the running for the spot.

p.s.s Monday , March 8th - just got released from my avail. So I didn't book the spot, but it feels nice to have gotten close at Claire Simon. Hopefully that will lead to more auditions down the road.

Thursday, January 28th

2010-01-28T15:44:00.000-08:00

I heard these lyrics and for some reason I broke down crying. I guess it scares me because I can relate to them and have felt this way:

I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
when people run in circles
it's a very very
Mad World

Monday, January 4th

2010-01-04T09:59:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday! Okay, for me it is a crappy Monday, but who's really asking me? My week is off to a crappy start as I got some bad news from my doctor. I sometimes wonder if it is really protecting your loved ones by not sharing everything with them? Just food for thought.

I am not sure where 2010 will take me, but I hope it's somewhere that allows me to find happiness, and that allows me to look at life as a blessing again.

I guess it's time to move on like a sinner's prayer.

TA

Sunday, January 3rd

2010-01-03T17:01:00.000-08:00

Happy new years! My year is off to a crappy start, but I will totally get over it. I am more confused by life than ever. Now that I am "dating" again, I have noticed that things in this day and age are no where near as black and white as the last time I was single.

I am excited to be attempting the whole dating thing again. I am ready to move on with my life and to find someone to spend my time with. Some may not believe that, but I have spent a lot of time soul searching and know that I am ready to find someone to care for Torey Adkins again.

Being divorced can be such a mark against you to some women. I understand this, yet here I am going for it anyways. I was lucky to be married to a wonderful woman once in this life and I have moved on from that and hope to find something even better. I just need to meet someone willing to take it slow, and willing to trust.

Wish me luck dear reader. I feel I have a LOT to offer the right person. I might have already met her for that matter.

TA

Thursday, December 17th

2009-12-17T08:11:00.000-08:00

Wow, long time ...no blogging. I am doing well, and in a good place in my life. My acting class is AWESOME. I am learning so much and really starting to believe in myself. Audition wise, it has been very quite lately.

Hope that any of you who read this are doing well. Happy Holidays.

Let's see what 2010 brings.

TA

Saturday, November 28th

2009-11-28T13:57:00.000-08:00

I hope anyone reading this had a great Thanksgiving. I thought that I would be spending it alone for the first time in my life. My friend Jody invited me over and I am so thankful that he did. I ate way too much, but it was a great time.

Thanksgiving always makes me think of my Granny and Grandpa Pounders. I miss them so much, and the holidays always remind me of the void in my life by not having them anymore. In many ways my grandparents were like a mother and father to my brother Adam and myself. They helped raise us and we were very close to them. They were the best people I have EVER known. They worked hard their hole lives to provide for their family and always put us and our needs in front of theirs. They were part of the greatest generation, having survived the Great Depression, and WW2.

Neither one finished high school, yet they were millionaires. They did it thru hard work, and planning for tomorrow. They were such simple people. My granny loved her garage sales. She just loved bargain hunting, it was like a sport to her. My poor grandpa spent many a hot summer's day in their car sweating his ass off waiting for her while she indulged her only vice.

My Grandpa was always my hero. He never knew it and sadly I never got a chance to tell him. He worked hard everyday of his life. Even in his late 70's he was always fixing something around the house, cutting his own lawn, or fixing his truck. He just worked hard and never knew any better. He lead a very interesting life. He loved to write and sing songs (this always drove my granny nuts) and he loved his New York Yankees. He dropped out of school in the 8th grade to go to work and make money for his family. Later he was drafted and was sent off to fight for his country in WW2. He was part of the Normandy invasion. When the war was over, he came home and met my granny. They got married and moved up to Michigan to get jobs in the auto industry. I try to imagine what it must have been like for them, leaving everything they ever knew and moving so far away from their families.

They started off in a small apartment in Detroit, and worked and saved until they could afford a house of their own. I am 33 and on my own. I am scared to move to LA alone. Yet they were barely in their 20's and they had no fear. My granny was the toughest / sweetest lady you would ever have met. She never took any shit from anyone and would fight to the death for her family. She was also so kind, always giving to those who went without and would welcome any of my friends into her home as if they were one of her own. She was always giving money to her grandchildren. I can't tell you how many times I would get a letter from her while I was in college and it had money in it for me. She would always try to hide it from my grandpa, but I am sure he knew about it. She just loved her grand kids and never wanted us to go without like she had to as a young girl.

Sorry for going on and on, but I miss them and wish everyone was lucky enough to be loved by their grandparents like I was.

Thanks for reading and happy holidays!

TA

Wednesday, October 14th

2009-10-14T14:51:00.000-07:00

I had an audition on Monday for a Duct Tape commercial. Today I had a fun/ quick audition for a national Serta commercial. I have a callback tomorrow at TPR for the Duct Tape spot. It feels nice to get a callback at TPR, it's been over a year since I have come close over there. So things on the acting front are starting to pick up. I also had a print looksie at O'Connor casting today, where they had to take a pic of my belly and back. Ahhh, the life of an actor.

TA

Wednesday, September 7th

2009-10-07T08:35:00.000-07:00

Hello dear reader, thanks for taking the time to check in on this thing I call life. I had my big audition yesterday and I thought I did well, but I have not heard anything and I think the callbacks are today. Can't seem to catch a break lately.

I just watched this amazing clip on Facebook and it made me cry. I am amazed at how some things make me cry so easily. I am such a sucker for uplifting stories, especially if the story is about a kid overcoming the odds. I have always had a big heart and I have never been afraid to cry. I am not one of those macho guys who tries to hold all feelings and emotions inside. You know the type I am talking about, the guy who claims that crying makes you a pussy. I have learned over the years, these so called macho guys are the biggest pussies of all.

I have cried a lot lately due to all the turmoil in my life. I have cried over the passing of a dear friend. I have cried over the thought of all the things I may never get to do in my life. I have cried over losing my dogs. Okay, I will admit that the last one is kind of a pussy thing to cry over, but those dogs were the closest I will ever come to having kids. I guess the point of all this rambling is this, it's okay to cry and fuck anyone who tries to make you feel silly or weak for doing it. The ability to show your emotion's is the truest display of courage.

TA

Friday, October 2nd

2009-10-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

Had a great callback on Wednesday for a national commercial for ESPN. It was nice to finally get a callback and get close to booking a spot again. I was called on Thursday and placed on hold for the spot, which means I was a finalist. Got the call today that I was released meaning I didn't get it. I was a little bummed to have not booked, but it was great to finally get close again.

Also had a last minute audition for a Mastercard spot on Wednesday, playing a football player. Not sure how it went, but I am not banking on this one.

Got an audition on Monday for a Walgreen's online thing , then on Tuesday I have an audition for a lead role in an indy film. Wish me luck, I will need it.

TA

Monday, September 28th

2009-09-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

I am starting this blog over. First let me say that I had a busy weekend. I worked on any Indy film on Saturday and it was great. I played a guy who tries to rape this woman and it was a very hard thing to pull off. Anyone who knows me well, knows how I feel about this subject matter. I think being able to work thru it and just getting out of my head was a huge step for my acting career.

I am at a crossroads right now in my personal life. I have a few ways I can go and they all seem like great / scary choices. I am just trying to get my shit together and focus on getting back to the old me. I have made some giant steps in this direction. One question I continue to struggle with is this: what do you do when you love and care for someone and they don't feel the same way about you? How do you deal with that? I am open to any suggestions.

On a final note, I thank anyone who takes the time to read this and to even think or care about Torey Adkins. I need all the love and support I can get right now and just knowing that some people read my blog gives me hope.

TA